Autonomy

It's been awhile and I did not keep up with the original cadence I had planned.  But that's alright.  It's been busy and I am just figuring out what to do with this.  And honestly have not put much thought into it.

Last several weeks have not played much poker.  Life took over with unexpected changes at work, new responsibilities, the stress that comes with it, and an even greater compression of time.  I tip my hats to those with families that are able to put in any decent volume at all.  I could not imagine adding more than I currently do on top of a fulltime career, school aged kids, and the bandwidth that all takes.  Don't get me wrong, my favorite time is time with the family and I wish I had more of it.  I'll stop rambling.

I have had time to muse about several different topics.  Autonomy is one that I kept coming back to.  How truly autonomous are we in our everyday lives?  How many people are able to make their own decisions without influence from others, others reliance on the consequence, or general bias from your environment?  It has to be a small number, like 5% of the population at most!  People have mouths to feed, car payments to make, mortgages, family to keep happy, and many many other things.  It takes time, money, and resources.  And this is just talking broadly.

What does autonomy in poker mean?  For those that play for a living, I would imagine it sounds a lot like the above.  You have to grind a set amount of hours, at weird schedules, in different locations where games are playing or are good.  They tell themselves they have to do this or that to hit the arbitrary target.  And if variance hits them hard during a particular time, they may press more or cave under the pressure of themselves.

Hardly a recipe for success.

I'm lucky as I keep the framing that this is a hobby.  Poker does not pay benefits.  It does not care how much you win or lose in a particular night.  It goes on with or without you.  But it is always there should you CHOOSE to play it.  

Keyword in there.

I choose to play when I want.  I do not feel pressure to grow a bankroll.  I can set goals for myself without timelines or other attachments.  I learn on my own curve and speed.

I thing I want to do is branch out more in the poker community.  That will require stepping out of my comfort zone and contributing something of value to it.  What is that?  TBD so far and something to think about...